about noises

I find English people especially curious when it comes to these daily noises. I know human noises transcend cultural issues and are supposed to be inherent to humans. Full stop.

I believed in that until I came to England, where I found those noises (burps, hick-ups and even farts) to be much wilder than what I was used to. Maybe the English are healthily freer than usual. I have to confess, though, that at first I found it offensive to be talking to someone and suddenly be forced to hear a wet burp followed by a guilty-free “excuse me” or, in more extreme cases, “excuse me, gosh!”.

Then I started to get used to it. But never felt comfortable enough to do it myself. I thought of a handful of hypothesis and none of them suits me better than the drinking factor. As you all must agree, English do like drinking. A lot. A hell of a lot. And as you all must agree, drinking, especially beer, makes you burp. I could go on forever on this, but I must say, still, that I’ve seen many people drunk in my life, and none of them are as loud as the English when it comes to burps, hick-ups, farts, but especially burps.

I am not saying we should all hold back what’s in our nature. I am just saying I don’t feel obliged to share these peculiar moments – which embrace noises, smell and utter discomfort and awkwardness.

I am not starting an anti-burping campaign as well – although it is not a bad idea and I would take part if anyone gets it on with – I am just exposing my view of English people and why they are so different from me. Of course I burp, but only very intimate people have heard me burping out loud.

Burps and other noisy human manifestations should be allowed in intimacy. But if I barely know you, how must I ever get to respect you if you blatantly burp on my face? No, not me.